By Erika Rizkallah

During my bridal shower – twenty years ago – my mother passed around a journal and asked the ladies to jot a note or write some marital advice. Among the blessings and prayers was the popular suggestion to “never go to bed angry.”

Many people are surprised to learn this principle comes from the Bible. In context the whole passage is about the Christian life in general. To be exact, the passage reads: Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body. “In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. Anyone who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with their own hands, that they may have something to share with those in need. Ephesians 4:25-28.

As you can see, the verse about anger is sandwiched between lying and stealing. But it still makes good advice for soon to be newlyweds. However, it’s not one my husband and I have always been able to apply. Sometimes we go to bed angry and sometimes for no good reason at all – like last week.

For three whole days we didn’t speak to one another except in casual (if not comfortable) conversation, and then only because we had to.

Let’s just say it was his fault.

The highlighted quote about anger comes from the Old Testament in Psalm 4:4 which reads: Tremble and do not sin; when you are on your beds, search your hearts and be silent. The “tremble” part means in your anger, which makes sense because when we’re really angry, we shake with it.

Sometimes quiet introspection is good when we’re arguing. It allows us to step back and think about why we love one another in the first place. It also helps us not say things (sometimes) that are sinful and hurt the other party.

So if you’re giving advice at a shower or in a doozy of a fight with your spouse, remember Psalm 4:4. The world – and our marriages – will be better and a whole lot quieter.